Curvature of Life

 Curvature of Life

(Buildings curve.  Docks curve.  Why are we surprised that life curves?)

So, Florida was a great place to be this winter. During my last two weeks there, I read four books. As always, I came across quotes in each that were meaningful to me for one reason or another. You probably got sick of seeing them posted on Facebook.  I came across one that I kept going back to. I had trouble determining why I was doing that. It finally hit me that I was dwelling on the particular quote for a variety of reasons. One was history. I had read several books on the concept of time in our lives and had actually blogged about a couple of them. Another was timing... somewhat connected themes, correct?  I came across the quote simultaneously with learning of the sudden death of a teacher that I had worked with a number of years ago in Bellows Falls.   Finally, I think the most significant reason that it kept coming back to me is that it created a conundrum for me. I have polar opposite feelings regarding the quote. With age and the passage of time, I cannot remember which book I found it in, but it reads:

Buildings curve.

“That's what happens to us when tragedy touches us. It fades our colors and takes off our shine. Of course we all know that the world tends toward destruction that everything withers and falls to pieces. But we imagine that there is so much time. When someone we love dies tragically, it's like seeing the curvature of the earth. You always knew it was round, a contained sphere floating in space. But when you see the bend in the horizon line, it changes your perspective on everything.”  I know that we are often surrounded by sadness, but I do not want to believe that it can destroy us.  Being the control freak that I am, (just ask my kids) I do not want to give it the power to do that.

I continued to think about that quote upon arriving home.  A gentleman who sat across from my sister and I on our homeward bound flight was violently ill.  Within days, we were turning green ourselves.  I found myself feeling lousy – which is pretty unusual for me.  I found myself sitting in a chair watching TV….during those brief periods that I was awake.  I am now thinking back on those moments in relationship to the quote – and still finding myself in a conundrum.  I felt like I was about to die, but it really was a short and simple virus.  It reminded me of how I would often use my scale of 1 to 10 analogy to put my thoughts into perspective.  If someone had asked me where I was on that scale that day, I would have said 10.  But I did not have a family member on that missing Malaysian aircraft, so feeling a bit green suddenly slid rapidly down the scale.

To go back to the impact that timing played, it was significant.  Multiple incidents took place that brought this quote back into my mind.   It is so easy to focus on the negative.   My daughter in law covered the helicopter crash in Seattle.  David and I stood at the top of the Space Needle watching helicopters take off and land from that very spot.  Families impacted by both recent aeronautical catastrophes have certainly had their perspectives changed.  The recent mudslide in Seattle was broadcast this morning.  The perspectives of many people will be changed as a result.  How do people survive tragedies of this or any nature move on at all – let alone in a positive way?

I read a thought shared by a young friend who recently experienced the death of her mother.  Someone had shared it with her and she clearly identified with it.   “Grief is a tidal wave that overtakes you, smashes down upon you with unimaginable force, sweeps you up into its darkness, where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces, only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped… Grief will make a new person out of you, if it doesn’t kill you in the making."  I found that bringing me to a new place in my thinking about the original quote.  Thank you for that, Jodi.  It describes the conundrum that I have been feeling using different words.  We must strive to continue to be a new person and a better person based on our experiences

Tragedies – both large and small – change us.  We must not let them kill us.  We must not let them fade our color or dull our shine – those are our strongest assets. 

Kate was home for the weekend and she is a great one to give her poor old mother a good swift kick in the ass.  She told me to shut the television off.  (I really think she just wanted to make sure that I got the corned beef and cabbage cooked.) 

Docks curve.

However, shut it off I did and I began to putter around the house.  I had noticed her bag last night and asked her where she got it.  During my puttering, I noticed it again.  In my first glance, I simply liked the bag.  In my closer look, I noticed that it was filled with quotes. 

When she came downstairs this morning, I asked her if I could borrow her bag.  You would have thought that I had asked for both of her arms and legs.  The look that came over her face was one I wish I could have captured on my camera.  She thought I wanted the bag and she had no idea how she would get all her stuff back to Connecticut.  (Trust me, I am going to check how many bottles of my Mystery of Agatha are missing when her car leaves the driveway.)  I explained that I simply wanted to copy some of the quotes.  Thanks to Kate, for anyone experiencing tragedy of any kind or size, here are the commandments I am going to try and practice this week.  I must remember that it is easy to create a list of quotes – they are nothing but words.  It is what we will do to  put the words into action that will prevent us from fading our colors and dulling our shine.

1.    Successful people replace the words ‘wish’ ‘should’ and ‘try’ with ‘I will’. 

2.    Do one thing a day that scares you.

3.    That which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.

4.    Observe a plant before and after watering and relate these benefits to your body and your brain.

5.    A daily hit of athletic induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions and helps you to be at peace with yourself and reduces stress. 

6.    Write down your long and short term goals at least four times a year.  Goal setting triggers your subconscious computer.

7.    Creativity is maximized when you are living in the moment.

8.    Life is full of setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle the setbacks.

9.    Drink fresh water and as much as you can.  Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.

10.   Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.  Like yourself more.

Speaking of timing, just as I finished typing the tenth item, my quote for the day came in.

"What really matters is what you do with what you have." ~~   H. G. Wells