Curvature of Life
(Buildings curve. Docks curve. Why are we surprised that life curves?)
So, Florida was a great place to be this winter. During my
last two weeks there, I read four books. As always, I came across quotes in
each that were meaningful to me for one reason or another. You probably got
sick of seeing them posted on Facebook.
I came across one that I kept going back to. I had trouble determining
why I was doing that. It finally hit me that I was dwelling on the particular
quote for a variety of reasons. One was history. I had read several books on
the concept of time in our lives and had actually blogged about a couple of
them. Another was timing... somewhat connected themes, correct? I came across the quote simultaneously
with learning of the sudden death of a teacher that I had worked with a number
of years ago in Bellows Falls. Finally, I think the most significant
reason that it kept coming back to me is that it created a conundrum for me. I
have polar opposite feelings regarding the quote. With age and the passage of
time, I cannot remember which book I found it in, but it reads:
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| Buildings curve. |
“That's what happens to us when tragedy touches us. It fades our colors and takes off our shine. Of course we all know that the world tends toward destruction that everything withers and falls to pieces. But we imagine that there is so much time. When someone we love dies tragically, it's like seeing the curvature of the earth. You always knew it was round, a contained sphere floating in space. But when you see the bend in the horizon line, it changes your perspective on everything.” I know that we are often surrounded by sadness, but I do not want to believe that it can destroy us. Being the control freak that I am, (just ask my kids) I do not want to give it the power to do that.
I continued to think about that quote upon arriving
home. A gentleman who sat across
from my sister and I on our homeward bound flight was violently ill. Within days, we were turning green
ourselves. I found myself feeling
lousy – which is pretty unusual for me.
I found myself sitting in a chair watching TV….during those brief
periods that I was awake. I am now
thinking back on those moments in relationship to the quote – and still finding
myself in a conundrum. I felt like
I was about to die, but it really was a short and simple virus. It reminded me of how I would often use
my scale of 1 to 10 analogy to put my thoughts into perspective. If someone had asked me where I was on
that scale that day, I would have said 10. But I did not have a family member on that missing Malaysian
aircraft, so feeling a bit green suddenly slid rapidly down the scale.
To go back to the impact that timing played, it was
significant. Multiple incidents
took place that brought this quote back into my mind. It is so easy to focus on the
negative. My daughter in law covered the
helicopter crash in Seattle. David
and I stood at the top of the Space Needle watching helicopters take off and
land from that very spot. Families
impacted by both recent aeronautical catastrophes have certainly had their
perspectives changed. The recent
mudslide in Seattle was broadcast this morning. The perspectives of many people will be changed as a result. How do people survive tragedies of this
or any nature move on at all – let alone in a positive way?
I read a thought shared by a young
friend who recently experienced the death of her mother. Someone had shared it with her and she
clearly identified with it. “Grief is a tidal wave that overtakes
you, smashes down upon you with unimaginable force, sweeps you up into its
darkness, where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces, only to
be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped… Grief will make a new
person out of you, if it doesn’t kill you in the making." I found that bringing me to a new place
in my thinking about the original quote.
Thank you for that, Jodi. It
describes the conundrum that I have been feeling using different words. We must strive to continue to be a new
person and a better person based on our experiences
Tragedies – both large and small –
change us. We must not let them
kill us. We must not let them fade
our color or dull our shine – those are our strongest assets.
Kate was home for the weekend and
she is a great one to give her poor old mother a good swift kick in the
ass. She told me to shut the television
off. (I really think she just
wanted to make sure that I got the corned beef and cabbage cooked.)
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| Docks curve. |
However, shut it off I did and I began
to putter around the house. I had
noticed her bag last night and asked her where she got it. During my puttering, I noticed it
again. In my first glance, I
simply liked the bag. In my closer
look, I noticed that it was filled with quotes.
When she came downstairs this
morning, I asked her if I could borrow her bag. You would have thought that I had asked for both of her arms
and legs. The look that came over
her face was one I wish I could have captured on my camera. She thought I wanted the bag and she
had no idea how she would get all her stuff back to Connecticut. (Trust me, I am going to check how many
bottles of my Mystery of Agatha are missing when her car leaves the
driveway.) I explained that I
simply wanted to copy some of the quotes.
Thanks to Kate, for anyone experiencing tragedy of any kind or size,
here are the commandments I am going to try and practice this week. I must remember that it is easy to
create a list of quotes – they are nothing but words. It is what we will do to put the words into action that will prevent us from fading
our colors and dulling our shine.
1. Successful
people replace the words ‘wish’ ‘should’ and ‘try’ with ‘I will’.
2. Do one
thing a day that scares you.
3. That which
matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.
4. Observe a
plant before and after watering and relate these benefits to your body and your
brain.
5. A daily
hit of athletic induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions
and helps you to be at peace with yourself and reduces stress.
6. Write down
your long and short term goals at least four times a year. Goal setting triggers your subconscious
computer.
7. Creativity
is maximized when you are living in the moment.
8. Life is
full of setbacks. Success is
determined by how you handle the setbacks.
9. Drink
fresh water and as much as you can.
Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.
10. Your outlook on life is a direct
reflection on how much you like yourself.
Like yourself more.
Speaking of timing, just as I
finished typing the tenth item, my quote for the day came in.
"What really matters is what you do with what you have."
~~ H. G. Wells
